Neutralising difficult people is crucial not only in business but in all areas of life. Devote 3 minutes to watching Nina Godiwalla, CEO of Mindworks, telling Harvard how we can change our reaction:
Nina trains executives and most of them are of the opinion that their biggest challenge is other people’s behavior. Does it sound familiar?
Change your reaction
How you respond to someone’s behavior makes a huge difference. Many times a person initiates a negative message or difficult attitude, just to trigger a response from you. If you react, you actually give them what they want. So stop the cycle of negative snowballing and sell them short on what they’re looking for by simply not responding.
Don’t get defensive
If you don’t start arguing with someone they usually stop their aggressive behaviour. One way is to just answer with a non-judgmental observation. It’s difficult, I know, because the cause of conflict is the trigger to our emotions and our emotions are what drive us back to our most basic survival instinct i.e. to react and attack back to defend ourselves.
But to counter attack makes it even worse, and is usually what the difficult person wants. So if you answer with an observation the person who attacked you normally backs off. Another way is to ask thoughtful questions to make them aware of what they are doing?
Change poison to nectar
Sometimes it’s possible to completely stun a person trying to pour poison on you. You can do that by complimenting the other person for something or tell them you have learnt from interacting with them. The difficult part about this strategy is to be, or at least appear to be, genuine. It may be difficult to find something positive about the person and you need a poker face to appear genuine.
How do you handle difficult people? Do you get defensive and counter attack? Or have you learnt to change your reaction? Do you realize that frequently difficult people take their own frustrations out on you? Are you able to control your emotions and not respond? Maybe you have even learnt to give them compliments to disarm them? What strategies have enabled you to defuse attackers?
The plot thickens. Top generals on Wall Street are hence trying to make sure there is no re-run of “Fiscal Cliff”. Devote 4 minutes to watching this Hollywood style video about the dangers of “Fiscal Cliff” and how the armies intend to make it history:
Reuters’ video explaining the problems, battlefields and actors taking part in “Fiscal Cliff” is not only a creative but also laudable way of making the public understand what “Fiscal Cliff” is all about.
The “Fiscal Cliff” war room
As Lloyd Blankfein put it: “Would you lend money to someone with the credit characteristics of the United States? Of course not”. And added that a repeat is unthinkable .
In the “Fiscal Cliff” war room you hence find not only Blankfein but Jamie Dimon. They are in charge of invading Washington and the American public as part of their strategy of putting an end to the dreaded “Fiscal Cliff” dramas.
Would another episode of “Fiscal Cliff” stop US recovery and entail losses for Wall Street? Can Wall Street make Tea Party republicans surrender to their financial logic? Or will corporate America CEOs convince them? How about the Gang of Eight? Will appealing to the American public work? Can the armies assembled stop conservative Republicans and the forces of Congress from staging more episodes of “Fiscal Cliff”? Can repeats of “Fiscal Cliff” be peacefully avoided? Will K Street be able to assist Wall Street, corporate America and the Gang of Eight in assigning “Fiscal Cliff” to a thing of the past? Or maybe you are of the opinion that another episode is essential for the Unites States and the world economy?
If so, you are likely to be creative, interesting, able to analyse and solve problems. At least that’s the opinion of Amy Cappellazzo of Christie’s International in New York. Watch a short video of her discussing her strategies for hiring creative people with The Economist:
Amy Cappellazzo is unusual in the sense that she is adamantly against being monolingual that many of her fellow Americans think is fine because a lot of people speaks English.
She only hires bilingual people and is convinced that speaking any other language, useful for Christie’s or not, forces people to think in different ways and understand other types of jokes, body language and also enhances a persons ability to analyse.
Don’t have an airtight resume if you want to work at Christie’s
If there is not some kind of weak point in a CV she does not trust it.
Too perfect a resume, at best, belongs to a person who has been in a padded environment all life and who, most likely, is not very interesting. That kind of person is not for Christie’s. She prefers a CV that shows that the applicant has driven off the road at some point and managed to get back on track again. That kind of people will be of benefit to Christie’s.
Do you agree with Amy Cappellazzo that bilingual individuals who have overcome adversity have more potential and are more creative? Or do you believe people who have sailed smoothly through life are a better bet? Are you also of the opinon that speaking more than one language makes you better able to understand people and a better analyst? Or do you believe English is enough since plenty of people around the world will, after all, be able to understand you?
Would you buy a product you cannot see that hasn’t even got a name? Thought not. Still some people believe they can get a following on social media by branding themselves that way.
Would you do business with a ghost? Thought not, and the same applies to the rest of humanity. So leave covert branding behind and start reaping the benefits of social media.
How can you take people seriously when they hide their identity? Obviously you should not post your contact details on social media. But your name and picture are essential if you want to be taken seriously.
A statue cannot sign a contract
Hiding takes away fear and I can understand that to some extent. But what’s the point of using social media if you are afraid of it? And what’s there to be afraid of? Apart from people who, usually for dodgy reasons, are using a fake identity, social media is a wonderful thing that people should embrace and make the most of.
But when you hide behind a photograph of, say a rose, and an alias you give the impression you have something to hide. So if you haven’t, what’s the point in making people suspicious? Chances of getting new customers, a job offer or business proposals are next to none if you are not transparent.
Identity theft doesn’t only take place online
Some people hiding claim they are afraid of identity theft. Seriously that can unfortunately happen even if you have no presence whatsoever online. All it takes is for a letter with your essential details to fall into the wrong hands. And,deplorable as it is, it happens all the time. Both in the real world and online.
Fearful leaders and entrepreneurs
Is it really feasible that so many people priding themselves to be leaders and entrepreneurs are afraid of online identity theft and posting a photograph or name? Seriously they wouldn’t be leaders and entrepreneurs if that was the case. So why are they hiding? Far from all of them are con-men, so why don’t they post their names and photographs?
Linkedin is not Facebook
If you use Facebook to communicate with your friends only, anything goes. But on business networks, such as Linkedin, you have to come across as a serious person. Posting a picture of yourself half naked doesn’t do the trick. Or a picture that makes you look dishonest. Chose a photograph that makes you look business like. It’s not a question of being ugly or beautiful but looking like a person businesspeople would like to be associated with.
Like products without logos
Imagine walking into a supermarket with your shopping list and all the logos and descriptions had disappeared from the products displayed. How would you know what they were? Even a simple thing like buying a can of Coca Cola would be difficult because you wouldn’t know what was in the different cans. And how would you know if you were picking up a bottle of shampoo or body lotion?
Learn from 007
There are covert agents on social media aiming to influence public opinion pro whatever country they are working for. They don’t want to draw negative attention to themselves and I can guarantee you that they all post a name, appropriate photograph and a credible profile. If not, how would they be able to do their job?
Would you do business with a ghost? Exactly, and you are not the only one. The same applies to the rest of humanity. So do yourself a favour by refraining from covert branding and display your photograph and name on social media. When people take you seriously, things can happen out of the blue and the positive aspects of social media will be available to you. Invisible branding works against you so unless you are in a witness protection program, or something similar, be transparent and start reaping the benefits of social media.
European Union leaders are now advocating “More Europe” as a solution to the Euro Crisis. Watch Harvard professor Niall Ferguson explain to The World Economic Forum what a more integrated Europe would entail:
Those pro “More Europe” fail to acknowledge that any federal system implies a transfer of resources from the more efficient and productive core to the periphery.
For well performing countries like Germany a federal Europe would be expensive. According to Ferguson, it would cost the Germans up to 8% of GDP per annum for the foreseeable future. And with the very real possibility of a full-blown European banking crises as a result of a trigger, say a Greek default, is a federal Europe really a good idea?
Seems to me it’s time to start having a fresh look at the problems facing Europe. What’s been done so far isn’t working and it’s highly unlikely that giving more powers to Brussels would do the trick. Contrary to Ferguson’s belief however, there is massive discontent with the EU in Western Europe. Doubt that governments in that part of Europe will be re-elected if they cede more power to Brussels.
The unpredictablility of economics
In 2008 Queen Elizabeth asked top economists at the London School of Economics what caused the economic crisis. And they could not give her an answer. With hindsight we can patch together what happened and the domino effect that ensued. But until events unfolded nobody was certain what would happen. Six month later the British Monarch received a reply from British economist Thomas Palley stating that economists have become increasingly arrogant, narrow minded and unable to innovate.
We can now also conclude that it would probably have been better for the world if Hank Paulson had saved Lehman Brothers, like Warren Buffett suggested. But Paulson, presumably, didn’t understand what Lehman’s bankruptcy would cause and hence refused to do so. Or, as some believe, deliberately exported a US problem to the rest of the world.
The unpredictability of economics is a major problem because most available tools take time to come into effect. By the time they do, the economic landscape may have changed. Even if everybody agrees that solution x is the best way forward they could all turn out to be wrong.
Testing if a crisis can be solved by austerity
At the moment European politicians are for the first time in modern history testing if austerity can fix an economic crisis. It was tried, for instance, in the 1840s and failed. And it looks as if it will fail again. Austerity is unfortunately having a negative impact on growth and development in Europe. People and governments are not spending, which is fatal and goes against the economic health desired.
How about parallel currencies?
Professor Dirk Meyer, an economist based in Germany, has come up with an innovative solution to the financial problems facing Europe.
He rightly states that despite the fact that the Euro is presently causing huge economic problems, it is politically and economically a good idea. Consequently Meyer believes the way forward is to keep the Euro and, at the same time, bring back national currencies.
It’s the best solution to Europe’s problems I have so far come across. And it is my hope that EU leaders are seriously evaluating that option. You may beat them to it by having a look at his ideas in “Bring back Deutsche Marks! (Euros can stay)”. It could enable Europe to have the cake and eat it. Why does it have to be either or? With economies as diverse as say, Germany and Greece, having parallel currencies could very well be the way forward.
Do you believe a federal Europe is a good idea? Will it solve Europe’s current economic problems? Would having parallet currencies work? Is it likely there will be another Lehman trigger in the future? If so, would a federal Europe be more vulnerable or protected? Or maybe you are of the opinion that the current austerity programs will sort out Europe’s problems? Wen Jiabao said to EU leaders recently: “China will continue to invest in European government bonds and bonds issued by the European Financial Stability Facility”. So if the EU proceed with current policies Europe will, like the United States, end up heavily indebted to the Chinese government.
Do you ask strangers to recommend you? Get you a job? Send you money? If you are, your online networking is bound to be a failure. But still an abundance of members of social media behave like that. Cannot understand why they trying to get people to do what they would not do?
Never, ever forget that networking is not all about you and what you want.
Don’t they understand that that’s not what networking is all about? Simply cannot understand why so many people are trying to jump the gun like that? They only annoy people and make sure their new connections don’t want to have anything to do with them again. Even remove them as connections.
Why do people ruin their reputation?
Don’t know how many times I have started a discussion on Linkedin only for members of the group to comment by pitching for business, even leaving their contact details. One man actually posted his CV as a comment in a discussion on branding for success. Would have understood if it was a discussion about jobs, but branding? On top of it he was nothing to write home about. He desperately needed branding, but obviously didn’t even realize that.
Don’t ask for a job
Recently got a message on Linkedin from a man saying I could get him a job in marketing and demanding I did so. Just removed him from my connection and marked his message as spam. Have even written at the bottom of my Linkedin profile that I am not in recruitment and cannot get anyone a job. But that doesn’t seem to stop all individuals.
Another bad side effect is that once you accept their invitation to connect they start spamming you with newsletters and all kinds of other un-solicited offers. Never ever sent newsletters to people who have not asked you to do so. If you do, your mail will be sent to the junk folder and if enough people do so your email address will be classified as junk.
Behave like you do in real life
Have had considerable success in networking in real life. Leaders all over the world have agreed to do what I wanted them to do – sometimes even on the spot. But if I had demanded something I would have failed.
Another important aspect is to not send the standard invitation to connect i.e. “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn”. Make it personal and explain why you want to connect. Have started clicking ignore on most “I’d like to add..” invitations I get for the simple reason that many of them are spammers.
Build long term relationships
Successful networking is in most cases about building up a long term relationship. If you are not prepared to do so, don’t network. One lawyer who sent me an invite to connect immediately asked me to recommend him to my connections. When I told him that wasn’t possible since I don’t know him he got upset and said connecting on Linkedin was all about getting more business. Not only are people like that annoying, how can they respect someone who actually recommend them when they haven’t even met? Only a person with no judgement whatsoever would be stupid enough to recommend a stranger. Am sure such people actually laugh when strangers recommend them.
Want to lose credibility – recommend strangers!
If you recommend strangers online you will lose credibility, people will lose respect for you and I actually believe your business friends will start avoiding you since you will be not be regarded as a serious person.
It works two ways
To try and network swiftly is in most cases impossible and actually gives networking a bad name, which is a shame. How you connect will have a huge impact on building a relationship. But too many people are so much in a hurry they forget to take the other person into account. Pity because they really shoot themselves in the foot by looking after “number one” the way they do.
But then again, some people really go too far when it comes to building up relationships with people they connect with online. Am really pleased about how many people want to connect with me because of Catarina’s World. But far too many start writing long daily e-mails to me and expect the same from me in return, which unfortunately is simply impossible since it would be a full time job. Again, all they think about is what they want without even wondering how many people have the time to exchange e-mails like that with strangers. Pity because it means the wonderful success of my blog has a negative side to it that wouldn’t exist if people understood how to network.
Don’t push
You can get fantastic results from networking if you have patience to do it properly. In real life you agree with the person you approach at an event that you will contact him/her. You do and once they understand who you are, what it’s all about and decide it’s in their interest you succeed. If you try to push them to quickly you will fail. So why should networking be any different online?
As far as I’m concerned networking online is building up long term online relationships with interesting people. The more the merrier and discussing with people from every corner of the world is not only fascinating but you also learn a lot. And that’s what life, and networking, is all about. Breathing down people’s necks to get a job or more business is a nuisance that simply doesn’t work.
People observe you online and in the future some of your connections may deliver jackpot. Much more than you ever bargained for. But not if you try to make them do all kinds of things for you before they have even made up their mind about you, much less decided you are worth while. Be professional, show respect and don’t ask others to do what you would not do for them and networking online may become a very positive experience for you. And never, ever forget that networking is not all about you and what you want.
Want to be healthy, happy, fit, full of energy, excel at what you are doing and reach your goals? Try yoga. It works. According to Guinness World Records, the oldest yoga teacher in the world, Tao Porchon-Lynch, is 93 year old. Watch the short portrait of her and you will understand why I am so keen on yoga:
Once I had tried yoga with a Pakistani instructor in Islamabad I was hooked. Fortunately for me Frances Houlahan was teaching at Danceworks close to my office in Mayfair, London. So I trained with her on a regular basis. Swiftly noticed that after breathing deeply for an hour while doing the asanas stress was out the window. Felt like a million dollars and went back to the office full of energy.
Indian yoga instructors
In the Middle East I used to have mainly Indian instructors, both male and female. They taught me even more about pranayama and I learnt to do the breath of fire pranayama that I have do every morning.
While living in Riyadh I managed to get a sport injury that caused an inflamed a muscle that the best doctors in the Kingdom could not cure. The inflammation simply would not go away.
Ayurveda succeeded where medical science failed
Ayurvedic medicine is linked to yoga and use plants and massages to treat such sport injuries. Found a practitioner in Dubai and after a week of daily massages, smelling foully, taking a herbal supplement and having applications of plants and herbs on the inflamed muscle, I was cured. And it should be added that during half a year I paid a fortune for specialist treatments in Riyadh that didn’t work. The ayurvedic treatment however, that did cost a fraction of what the doctors charged, swiftly made the inflammation a thing of the past.
Difference between yoga and normal exercise
From looking at the video and the link above about the positive impact of yoga, I’m sure you have a good idea of what can be achieved. For those of you who don’t practice yoga, have you tried breathing deeply for an hour while you exercise? If you do you will notice a difference. Not only do you feel good like after normal exercise but also feel as if you have taken some kind of happiness drug.
It’s not for nothing that Tao Porchon-Lynch says the ancient eastern practice of yoga keeps her fit and healthy. At 93 a major reason she is still going strong is yoga. So if you feel run down, stressed and need a kick to improve all areas of your life, try yoga.
For some reason the majority of business people don’t find time for yoga. Have a feeling many businessmen regard it as suitable for women. Lamentable since they would be more successful if they found the time for yoga.
Do you believe yoga will improve your life? Maybe you practice yoga? If so, what benefits have you noticed? If not, how would you like to improve your life? Would you like to have more energy? Better health? Perform better at work? Get rid of aces and pain? Be happy? Start reaching your goals? Like Tao be still going strong at 93? Maybe it’s time for you to try yoga? Or do you have any other suggestions that can benefit you the way yoga do?
Mitt Romney’s campaign wanted the stage for the Republican convention to convey warmth and openness, just like Oprah. Add to that endorsements from a devoted wife, a former Secretary of State and a Hollywood star and his likeability was improved. Watch this really short New York Times video on how it was done:
Does Mitt Romney stand for empathy? And is he the devoted family man his 63 year old wife Ann fondly talks about? Impossible to know for the majority of voters. But that’s what the design studio that also creates sleek sets for Oprah Winfrey succeeded in conveying.
Slick packaging is what it’s all about
Kissing and hugging husband and wife and eye candy the audience can consume. Romney’s advisers carefully scripted and staged the set and program for the Republican National Convention with the aim of accomplishing what a year of campaigning has failed to do and make Mitt Romney appear like God’s gift to America. Even to the extent of embracing his Mormon faith.
According to a Reuters poll taken after the convention his likeability increased, at least temporarily, among US voters. But do this kind of slickness really make the majority of people vote for a candidate? According to the poll so far it has not. Do videos of him playing with his five sons make him the perfect president of the United States? Another odd aspect was that as a rule people are supportive of members of their family battling diseases. If Mitt Romney had not been he would be an exception to the rule. But considering that US voters did not like him conveying such messages do make sense.
Why Condi?
Associations are part of the branding. Romney hence keeps on mentioning Ronald Reagan to be associated with the still hugely popular former president. George W. Bush however, is rarely mentioned and when he is it’s in relation to tax cuts.
Endorsements are a part of promoting a candidate. But I am not sure why Condoleeza Rice was the only Bush administration official that talked at the convention? Presumably because of all Romney’s foreign policy missteps? But having Cory give a speech is still odd considering that she and Romney have completely different ideas regarding many aspects of foreign policy.
Saying the right things is also important. “A free world is a more peaceful world,” Romney argued at the convention, and added, “This is the bipartisan foreign-policy legacy of Truman and Reagan. And under my presidency we will return to it once again.” Interesting considering that Truman is the only president ever to have used the atomic bomb. Besides I am not sure what those words really mean? But maybe it doesn’t matter since the audience cheered loudly.
Sold just like candy
All politicians world-wide are branded and promoted like a new hair gel or Hollywood star. Romney is just a recent example of the huge amount of money and effort being used to get a politician elected. It goes on all over the world but in the US it’s a bit more showbiz and slick than elsewhere. It’s not a coincidence that Clint Eastwood was a guest star.
Will the convention go down in history as the moment Mitt Romney started his march to The White House? A multitude of opinions have been voiced. Who’s right and who’s wrong? Well, we will find out. If Mitt Romney’s image makers succeed in making people not only like him more but vote for him, he may become the next president of The United States.
Does this kind of branding and promotion really lay out the arguments for why Barack Obama has failed and why Mitt Romney would do better? Or is it over the top to have Condoleeza Rice state that Romney/Ryan is the answer to America’s problems? Not least since she and Romney have different stands when it comes to controversial issues such as abortion and gay marriage. Doesn’t it matter that Romney, long after the end of the cold war, still regards Russia as the biggest geopolitical problem facing the US? Do we really want our politicians to be branded and promoted like talk show hosts? Isn’t it dangerous to concentrate on superficial issues instead of what really matters to America and the world?
Have you thought about the fact that the quality of the content you post on social media is branding you? You actually need to be a bit like a skilled politician and convey your thoughts and ideas in ways that have an impact.
Maybe it’s time to decide what you are trying to achieve on Linkedin and other social media networks? How are you going to influence others if you don’t have a strategy?
What do you want out of social media?
Maybe it’s time to look at what you are trying to achieve on Linkedin and other social media networks? If not, the likelihood of anything beneficial happening is slim. How are you going to influence others in order to achieve your goals if you don’t know what they are?
And influence that’s what social media is all about. If nothing else influence to create a good impression of yourself and your company.
The originality syndrome
Google’s Algorithm rewards originality. Am really pleased about that because I refuse to write for search engines. It ruins your writing to constantly have to think about using the right key words and writing a headline the search engines would love.
Originality is also what counts on social media networks if you would like to have influence. Business professionals are changing how they cooperate because of online communities. And they want to be associate with people with a mind of their own. And that doesn’t mean people who criticize for the sake of criticising. Or complicate an issue so much it’s difficult to understand what they are trying to say. Or worse, prove themselves at the expense of others.
Thought leadership is the name of the game
Are you up to thought leadership i.e. ideas that merit attention? Because that’s needed if you would like to be recognized as a thought leader. Needless to say that signifies that you know what you are doing, say, on Linkedin and what the people you are trying to influence are interested in getting from you.
Are you in the driving seat?
An abundance of information is coming at us online. And your ability to act and get others to act is critical in this new economy. Nor least since professional networks facilitate interactions by enabling us to cooperate no matter where in the world we are. That’s the currency on social media.
Do you have influence?
How many people request to connect with you on say, Linkedin, on a weekly basis? Do people interact with you in discussions you start? Are your posts being syndicated? Do people share your posts with their networks? Are you getting positive feedback from other members of social media networks? Are you being criticized? The latter you unfortunately can’t avoid unless what you have to say is of no relevance whatsoever.
There are many ways of determining how much influence you have. However, unless you honestly look at those issues you will just be drifting along and not contribute the quality that makes you a thought leader. Maybe your actions are even branding you the wrong way?
Search engines record everything and forget nothing
Do you realize that more and more companies are beginning to use new software that show exactly what a person has been doing on social media? So people leaving nasty comments or parroting should be careful. Search engines record everything and forget nothing. Those who insult others and pretend they are someone they are not will pay a heavy price.
Do you know what you are trying to accomplish on social media? If so, what are you trying to achieve? If you are not sure, maybe it’s better to keep a low profile until you have a strategy? Then when you have made up your mind, you can start having an impact and build up the influence you want, and need, to reach your goals.
Get the flexibility to take initiatives, innovate at all levels and at the same time thrive at what you are already good at. Sounds too good to be true? Bruce Harreld, Faculty Chair at Harvard is all for that way of operating. He will tell you why in this really short video:
Simply put it’s not enough to look at what you are already good at and ignore potential new areas. Ambidextrous individuals hence drive leadership and take initiatives beyond the confines of their job.
When companies are ambidextrous they are able to adapt to new opportunities and at the same time have alignment around their existing activities. And, this is crucial, they allow leadership to emerge from all levels in the organisation.
Common sense – but frequently ignored
The economic crisis has had a positive impact on ambidexterity. More companies, and people, understand that they have to think outside the box. Just throwing resources at problems is being replaced by a leaner more staged way of problem solving. Lack of resources actually increase creativity and people become more innovative. Provided they are allow to.
Ambidextrous people drive new initiatives
Some scholars as well as practitioners argue that many established companies simply lack the flexibility to explore new territories. And that’s where having ambidexterity come in.
Have never understood why, but companies, and people for that matter, get so stuck in their ways they don’t see the wood for the trees. Thinking outside the box is essential and it’s interesting to note that a top university like Harvard feel there is a need to give courses in how to do so. If you are an innovative person that will not be necessary, but there is obviously a demand from people who need to broaden their horizons. Harvard’s target group for the course may actually be leaders that cannot delegate? Having spent too long in a hierarchical system such leaders probably find it hard to accept leadership driven from all levels in the organisation?
Are you ambidextrous? Do you agree with Bruce Herrald, and me, that it’s propitious to have ambidextrous strategies? Is ambidexterity the way you and your organisation develop? Have you found that lack of resources makes you more creative? Does it give you flexibility and make you look into new areas you would otherwise have overlooked? Are ambidextrous people and organisations smarter? If you haven’t already, are you building an ambidextrous organisation that allows for initiatives, stimulate individuals to stretch themselves and drive leadership? Or maybe you are turning yourself into an ambidextrous person by driving new initiatives as well as your existing activities? Do you agree that in an increasingly global market ambidexterity is the way forward?
