Comments on: Do you know how to defuse difficult people?

By: Mohammed Jarjarah

Mohammed Jarjarah — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 15:43:49 +0000

Always there is common lines with colleagues or fellow workers, it is not always conflicts. However, whenever a hard argument starts , it is important to listen and not to react immediately, there are some correct points that can be used to reach solution. We should not react instantly. Our aim is first to resolve, then to diffuse difficult people. I do not need to be defensive , I need to come up with the optimum solution.

By: catarinaalexon

catarinaalexon — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 10:54:54 +0000

Good points that I agree with Keyuri.

By: Keyuri Joshi

Keyuri Joshi — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 20:02:56 +0000

It can be so hard to zip ones lip and not react to another's comment or behavior. But boy... the results are worth a million bucks just to revel in the peace of not engaging in an argument. In life, people do not give us peace of mind. We have to create it. My recent post Mom? Dad? Do You Have the Courage to Just Say No?

By: catarinaalexon

catarinaalexon — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 18:22:51 +0000

Glad you agree Kelly. But it's more difficult when a stranger attacks you when you give a speech:-)

By: catarinaalexon

catarinaalexon — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 16:56:41 +0000

Yes that works very well Kim. But tricky to do if a stranger has a go at you when you give a speech:-)

By: Kim Sass

Kim Sass — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 16:52:54 +0000

A lot of good ideas here to hold in our toolbox to deal with difficult people. An additional approach I have used, especially in situations where the relationship is critical, is to take genuine time to understand what it is like to walk in their shoes. In my experience you can usually find something you can connect with, that you can respect or appreciate, that allows you to be more patient and accepting of the poor behavior while you apply many of the other approaches described by Nina and throughout the prior comments.

By: catarinaalexon

catarinaalexon — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 15:41:43 +0000

Obviously Slim. Don't understand why you point out that human nature has not changed.

However, a lot of people didn't learn tecniques for handling difficult people when you were young. Why? Because they simply were not born:-)

By the way, I think you should have referred to what Aristotle said 367 B.C or Cicero 60 B.C since human nature was the same in ancient times as well. And so were difficult people.

By: Slim

Slim — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 15:30:16 +0000

Recently, I had to actually, let someone go. This person should not have lasted the 6 weeks of the project. I had to let someone else go. That was not my decision. A person above me, "playing boss", said so. That person was responsible for the first person lasting over 5 weeks.

Everything presented today was presented in the 80's. It is the musty, dusty list of stuff that is continually dragged out, polished up, and re presented as enlightened management.

Applying the simple "Slim Fairview Test" Have things gotten more high, good, better? No. Have things gotten more low, bad, worse? Yes. Conclusion? Don't do that. The test works in reverse.

Our problem (in the US) is the lack of respect for the empirical method–experimental–of solving problems. This applies to management.

You perform the experiment. Record the results. Repeat the experiment. Duplicate the results. Form the conclusion.

For too many years we have engaged in the method: formulate the theory, seek data to substantiate our conclusions.

From the internet, very simple: a priori – based on hypothesis or theory rather than experiment. [The free dictionary dot com]

With all due respect, Nina Godiwalla is pursuing a time tested method. Find what people like and sell it.

Don't believe me?

Diet books, get rich quick books, and self-help books don't work. If they did, we would all be skinny, rich and well adjusted. Rather, we are fat, poor, and polarised. Still, diet books, get rich quick books, and self help books continue to sell. The only difference is the venue: Talk show television or Harvard. Preaching to the choir still works.

Regards, Slim
My recent post Theocracy? America!

By: catarinaalexon

catarinaalexon — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 15:09:37 +0000

It would be easier if they all behave the same way, wouldn't it Leora? When you least expect it someone has a go at you in a way that you couldn't in your wildest dreams imagine:-)

By: Leora

Leora — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 13:01:58 +0000

Hi, Catarina. Such an important topic: yes, very often the most difficult part of business is interpersonal. The video provides some excellent tips, like watching one's own reaction. I find it takes a lifetime of experience to work on relationships with difficult people. It's a process, and one is continually learning. My recent post Analytics Tools to Understand Website Visitors